Dear ——

You are my best friend; it's impossible to hate you.

I have waited for you, for months. I have. I have tried to be patient as you discovered yourself, found your drive in life. I supported all of this. I've supported you through the toughest parts of your life. I was there when your life fell apart, I helped you pick up the pieces…. I've always been there for you.

Now that I've fallen from proverbial grace (always a year late, our running joke), you are no where to be seen. You've become the ghost in my life, that occasionally comes back to the apartment for a fresh pair of socks.

Don't tell me it's going to be okay; we're going to get through this and be stronger, greater friends because of this… we're not. I'm filled with resentment and anger because of what you've done to me in the last few months. I can't stand you anymore. You're a monster.

I've asked you to help me and all you've given me is promises. Promises you won't keep. You will never leave your safety nest, your money, the luxuries of your lifestyle. Your love has been bought. Its price, something I could never afford. You will never help me because you've got too much to lose. You will never leave this lifestyle to return to the nothingness you had.

The nothingness you had with me.

I have nothing left now, my best friend. I've given away everything, including you. I'm trying to walk with my head held higher today though. I'm fighting every day to stay positive and work through this. The hardest part is trying to start my life over without you in it. Today I'm trying, damnit, I'm trying.

One day at a time, repeating to myself:

You are my best friend; it's impossible to hate you.